How To Get On In Society - A poem by John Betjeman

John Betjeman - How To Get On In Society

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me

Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.

Credit: Reprinted with the permission of John Murray (Publishers) Ltd

Added: on October 19th, 2009 at 7:21 AM | Viewed: 7926 times | Comments (8)

How To Get On In Society - Comments and Information
Poet: John Betjeman Poem: How To Get On In Society Comment 8 of 8, added on October 20th, 2009 at 9:15 AM. Oh it's more than a hint, Ian. Scones and stones are hardly likely to be an eye rhyme here! By drawing attention to the way she rhymes it with stones, he hilariously paints the non-U lily and brings the poem to a final crescendo. I think it's the funniest bit of all! BTW it has been explained that a U scone would rhyme with 'gone', but that won't do either! U people pronounced that 'gawn'. (You can still hear elderly U people do that today.) In which as so often they were in agreement with Cockneys. It was the parvenus who thought old pronunciations like this were uncouth, and set about "refaining" them! Michael Lamb from United Kingdom Comment 7 of 8, added on October 19th, 2009 at 2:48 PM. Presumably Betjeman is hinting that the correct (or at least U) pronunciation for 'scone' is with with a short 'o' given that he is is rhyming it with 'stone'in the voice of his parvenu (and definitively non-U) mistress of houshold. Ian Riley from United Kingdom Comment 6 of 8, added on October 19th, 2009 at 7:21 AM. I meant to point out that you have got a serious typo in this poem: "I know that I wanted to ask you-" should be "I know what I wanted to ask you-". It's serious because Betjeman obviously meant to draw attention to what he perceived (and what I still perceive) as a non-U turn of phrase to introduce a question! Michael Lamb from United Kingdom More Comments >> Are you looking for more information on this poem? Perhaps you are trying to analyze it? The poem, How To Get On In Society, has received 8 comments. Click here to read them, and perhaps post a comment of your own. Of course you can also always discuss poems by John Betjeman with others on the Poetry Connection poetry forum!

Poem Info
How To Get On In Society Last read: 2010-02-09 06:10:52 Viewed 7926 times. Added on October 19th, 2009 at 7:21 AM.

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