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Comment 11 of 51, added on November 7th, 2005 at 10:18 AM.
Larkin hits the nail on the head in verses 1&2; growing up in the 50s & 60s I was certainly fucked up by my mother, who was way too possessive, and never ever let go until she died. I have been happily married for nearly 30 years and have 3 wonderfully independent-minded daughters who can say anything to their mother and me...my wife also suffered from repressed parenting and we have been determined to give our girls every opportunity to make their own decisions, giving advice when requested, and trying to guide rather than dictate.
I agree that the last verse shifts the mood from wry, if slightly caustic observation, to bitter recrimination, but on the whole the poem articulates brilliantly the secret angst of many people.
Tony from United Kingdom
Comment 10 of 51, added on November 1st, 2005 at 4:12 AM.
Larkin taps into a fundamental psychological process for the transmission thoughts and feelins and behaviours across the generations. In Transactional Analysis Larkin is describing the creation of life scripts - just a little more succinctly.
Rob van Tol from United Kingdom
Comment 9 of 51, added on October 10th, 2005 at 1:15 PM.
taken literally this poem is dark and disturbing but when you look at the relationship the last verse has with the other two its less about a family relationship and more about humanity and its flaws. The underlying idea is that we need to stop fucking with each other. Its more of a statement of peace then the inexorable pain caused within a family relationship.
lydia from Canada
Comment 8 of 51, added on September 30th, 2005 at 9:03 AM.
I enjoy this poem, but only as a wry look at the relationship between parents and children. I assume the last verse is supposed to give the poem more depth, but I find it jars. It gives the first two verses a darker meaning than I believe they can bear. Firstly, because it suggests a degree of actual harm. Secondly, because in adopting a darker interpretation, it ignores the joy children bring to parents. Thirdly, as others have touched on, once you become a parent yourself, the actions and attitudes of your own parents seem much more sensible.
I would be interested in knowing how much of a shock the use of the word "fuck" was in 1974, when the poem was written. While the use of the word in the same line as "mum and dad" still has an impact, it much have much less of an effect than it once did, surely?
G Jackson from United Kingdom
Comment 7 of 51, added on September 30th, 2005 at 8:36 AM.
Larkin definitely hits the mark. For what its worth, read a quote the other day, not sure who wrote it, but it might fit with the vibe.
"You will never truly mature as a person until you forgive your parents"
Sugggestion: New ritual that every child (regardless of religion) can opt participate in on their 16th birhtday. No pomp and ceremony, 5 minute conversation in which they express forgiveness for parental mistakes and stupidity.
Steve from Ireland
Comment 6 of 51, added on September 30th, 2005 at 8:12 AM.
The title "This Be The Verse" refers to Robert Louis Stevenson's "Requiem":
This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.
D* from United Kingdom
Comment 5 of 51, added on September 19th, 2005 at 3:32 AM.
this poem was in a way very negative about our parents i think (my opinion) ;)
mark elwell from Malaysia
Comment 4 of 51, added on May 28th, 2005 at 5:57 AM.
As I am reaching mature age, have 2 mature age children, I love this poem, it is so apt, you really don`t mean too, but don`t realise how much influence you have over them. Thankfully I have two children who tell me what they feel, they have read this and love it also.
Chris from Australia
Comment 3 of 51, added on January 29th, 2005 at 3:27 PM.
This is one of my favourite poems. I am not a scholar and have not studied poetry but I believe it to be very true, parents do 'fuck you up' although generally not intentionally, as I am now a parent I can see even more truth in it. The use of the 'bad word' is very descriptive and I don't think he could have got his point across so well with the use of something different. This poem is direct, gritty and marvelous in it's simplicity.
S. S. from United Kingdom
Comment 2 of 51, added on January 6th, 2005 at 6:16 AM.
I have grown to appreciate this poem: what appears a merely frivilous poem contains a darker, more sinister undercurrent; Larkin entwines farce with real concern (First two lines in last stanza).
I particularly like Larkin's portrayal of life's cyclical, here monotinous nature, conveyed structurally by his repetitive ab ab ryhme scheme.
Ellen from United Kingdom
This poem has been commented on more than 10 times. Click below to see the other comments.
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Larkin hits the nail on the head in verses 1&2; growing up in the 50s & 60s I was certainly fucked up by my mother, who was way too possessive, and never ever let go until she died. I have been happily married for nearly 30 years and have 3 wonderfully independent-minded daughters who can say anything to their mother and me...my wife also suffered from repressed parenting and we have been determined to give our girls every opportunity to make their own decisions, giving advice when requested, and trying to guide rather than dictate.
I agree that the last verse shifts the mood from wry, if slightly caustic observation, to bitter recrimination, but on the whole the poem articulates brilliantly the secret angst of many people.
Tony from United Kingdom